Sunday, July 26, 2009

When do our parents become our children?

Mom had open heart surgery two days ago. There were a few unsuspected complications once they got in there but she's doing okay considering. There were calcifications in her aorta (the major blood vessel coming off the heart) which looked like stalamites, sharp, pointy rock formations that develop over years of liquid dripping from a cave ceiling onto the floor.

The only thing now is that she won't wake up. SHe's ultra-sensitive to pain meds and I have to keep prodding her to wake her up. I have to nag her to eat. I have to boss her around like she's a small child.

I was never a parent, but if this is what it is like, I"m kinda glad I din't go through it. I know I've missed a few of the warm fuzzies that go along with parenting, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I"ll take a deep breath, tuck my head down and keep plugging along. I knew this day would come. We all gotta get old sometime, but it's giving me more and more thoughts about how to plan my own future for when I get old.

That includes more exercise now, eating less chocolate and caffeine, less fatty foods, more vegetables, less red meat. Now wait a minute!!! Did you just read what I wrote? WHO am I kidding? Gggrin!

Whew...glad I got over that insane before I went too far.


  1. I thought of having kids as part of the plan for my future, and now when I tease my middle daughter, she tells me, "Watch it; I'm the one who's going to choose your nursing home!" So I guess I was right....sort of....

  2. This stage of daughtering is, indeed, very hard. My sister took the main responsibility in my mother's last years. Although I did as much to help as I could from afar, after Mom died, Betty realized she was exhausted. And Mom didn't require nursing care. Best wishes to you. I hope your Mom recovers well.

  3. Hi Kate

    I am glad that she has had the surgery and all of that went well. I also am one of those people who cannot take anasthetic and take about 24 hours or more before I stop barfing and my head doesn't feel fuzzy. Maybe this is how your poor Mom is feeling. Also maybe if she feels the pain pills so much maybe you should suggest they cut them back a little but still keep her comfortable. I am no nurse Kate but
    you never know what is keeping her so sleepy. Just a small change may help. I think it is harder on the person looking after the patient then on the patient themselves. I have been through this as you know and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Keep your cheery spirit up. Is she at your hospital? That would be convenient.

    Extra Hugs


  4. First I hope your Mom recovers quickly and thoroughly! Being the only child of aging parents, the thoughts cross my mind, but I tend to ignore them. Having only one son, I also ignore the opposite end. Also tend to thing about life as you do - and get over those insane thoughts almost immediately! YOu still make me GRIN! Take care of YOU. Charlene in SC