Thursday, March 26, 2009

Who am I to deny the spiritual existance of a candy bar?

The other day at lunch, I heard a candy bar calling me from the vending machine down the hall from the cafeteria. I begged my friend, Drew, to help me ignore that sweet siren call. His intriguing reply was … “Kate, remember. The candy bar is but an illusion. It doesn’t exist in your current reality.”
I replied, “I don’t know about you, but it’s a pretty darned strong illusion right now.”
“Okay, then go out the other door and maybe you won’t hear it.”
“Is that what you call avoidance behavior?”
“Whatever works.”
Afterwards, it occurred to me … what if a candy bar has feelings and I broke its sweet little heart by ignoring it? I’ve heard of a study that said plants have feelings. They thrive if you talk to them nicely, but wither if you speak hatefully. Who am I to deny the existence of feelings in a supposedly inanimate object once composed of living matter?
Well, the guilt I felt from ignoring that poor Milky Way made me invite his lowly cousin, the Snickers bar who lived in a different vending machine, to come make my acquaintance.
Later that day I explained my theory about the spiritual existence of a candy bar to Drew. He wagged his finger at me. “That’s your lower self speaking to you, Kate.
“Yeah, but my lower self is smacking its lips right now.”
He just smiled, shook his head and walked away.


  1. LMAO that poor candy bar! I believe that everything has energy. Candy bars rarely call out to me but there are books that literally grab me from the shelf!

    Happy Friday! Make it a great day!

  2. Oh Kate, that poor lonely candy bar. It is probably sitting there worrying that it has lost its flavor. You absolutely must go the next time. We can't have sour chocolates sitting around. It is against the chocoholic code of ethics.